“Don’t Query, Vote Tory” by Ralph Pichie
(or, Battle Hymn of the Conform Sense Revolution)
To the tune of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”
Here’s a little spin I wrote,
you might want to buy it vote by vote,
Don’t query, vote Tory
In every term we have some trouble,
when you query you burst our bubble
Don’t query, vote Tory
Don’t query vote Tory now
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query vote Tory
Ain’t got no way to say you said,
Somebody came and tazed you dead,
Don’t query, vote Tory
Some people say our truth is late,
and there is a Carsongate.
Don’t query (small laugh) vote Tory,
Look at me, I’m Harper
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query, vote Tory
Give you my phoney number,
when you’re worried, call me,
I make you Tory
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Aint got no cash, it’s been a while,
only a scandal to make you smile,
but don’t query, vote Tory
‘Cause when you query, our pollsters frown,
’cause it might bring our power down
So don’t query, vote Tory
Don’t query, vote Tory now…
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query, vote Tory
Now there is this spin I wrote
I hope you bought it vote by vote
like good little voters
Don’t query, vote Tory
Listen to what I say
In the House expect some trouble
When you query you burst our bubble
Don’t query, vote Tory,
Vote Tory now
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t query
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Nice fake lakes
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Big stealth jets, vote Tory
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Republican?, vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t doubt it, Vote Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Put a smile on your boss,
Don’t bring their profit down to loss
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don’t worry
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
What’s the fuss? They’re under the bus!
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
(fading…)
Oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
I’m not worried
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
I’m Tory
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
– NOT!